Life Slaver
Life Slaver is the 80th episode of the series and the final episode of the third season, which aired on May 22, 2008 in Canada on Teletoon and on December 11, 2008 in the United States on Cartoon Network. Plot A bully is dangling Darth over the railing on the upper story. At that moment, Jen and Caitlin come by. They notice the bully, and think he's hot until they see that he's bullying Darth. Caitlin comes over and sweetly says hi. The bully turns and, seeing Caitlin, drops Darth the short distance to the upper-level floor. He then introduces himself as Jack and asks Caitlin out. Caitlin refuses, citing that he's a bully and also that he's wearing socks with sandals. The two then move on, Jen feeling sorry for Darth and Caitlin angry about Jack's fashion faux pas. The gang are gathered around the table when Darth arrives. He breaks the news to Caitlin that, as she saved him from death, he is now her humble servant. Caitlin tries to wave him off, but he says that as a Jedi Knight, he must protect her no matter what. He then proceeds to get an asthma attack as he crawls into the lemon, but states that she won't know he's there. He then proceeds to stand valiant guard around a bored Caitlin. Jen suddenly whispers of an incoming hottie. Caitlin sees the boy approach the stand, and shoves Darth under the counter. Darth comes up a few seconds later, just as the boy arrives. Taking another hit from his inhaler, he calls the boy a "hottie" and offers him a beverage. Creeped out, the teenager backs away, prompting Caitlin to ask how long Darth said he'd guard her. Darth replies that it is until he averts her death, and Caitlin sighs. Wyatt then notes that Jude is playing on his laptop, and Jen asks if she can check her e-mail. She does, and finds nothing but mass emails, which she deletes immediately. Jude points to a chain email, and Jen says that only annoying people forward them; besides, you cannot get bad luck from an email. At that moment, she spills coffee on herself. Her friends warn her about the email, but she scoffs and goes to work. While leaving, she bumps into something, and Wyatt notes that disaster is leaving. Caitlin enters the washrooms, Darth in tow. When Darth tries to enter, she pushes him back, telling him that he cannot enter the restrooms. He waits loyally outside. His girlfriend appears, and asks if he wants to go somewhere, but he confesses that as a loyal Jedi knight his forces are needed. Julie leaves in tears, not knowing that Darth has left her because of his pact. She then proceeds behind a potted plant and spies on Darth. Meanwhile, inside the restroom, Caitlin is looking for an escape route. She hears Jude and Jonesy through the vents and calls to them. Jonesy tells her that she'll have to fake a near-death experience in order to shake Darth. Caitlin accepts this and begins to plot her own demise. She then exits and meets up with Darth. Julie tearfully watches them go. Stanley then shoots her and asks what the problem is. When Julie tells him, the 7-year-old suggests that she take out Caitlin. Julie accepts this and begins to plan; she then asks Stanley if she can borrow his ball-shooter. Stanley gladly hands it over, and Julie gets ready to capture Caitlin. Caitlin is talking to Wyatt on the phone. Wyatt jokingly suggests she throw herself down the stairs; when she takes this seriously, he retracts the statement, saying that she should just slip and fall instead. This gives Caitlin an idea. She makes Darth a lemonade and starts to hand it over, but intentionally spills it on the floor. She then comes out to clean it up and pretends to slip on the wet floor. She calls to Darth to save her. Julie peeks out from behind a trash can with Stanley and fires. The ball hits Caitlin's full blender and topples it, creating a bigger puddle. Caitlin slips and falls. Darth apologizes. Julie and Stanley high-five and run off, unnoticed by all but Ron the Rent-a-Cop. Jude, Jonesy, and Wayne are in Underground Video. Jude pulls out a stack of tapes, saying that he found them in the air vent. He pops one in, revealing it to be an old mall security video. Wayne tells him that this is boring, and Jonesy concurs. Jude says that he's going to watch them anyway, and both Wayne and Jonesy leave. Caitlin and Darth are walking through the food court with trays full of food. Julie and Stanley peek out from a beam. Caitlin and Darth put their food down, and Caitlin intentionally pushes her chair back. She moves to sit on empty air, but Darth notices and rushes over to push the chair in. He grabs it, and is about to put it in when Julie fires. The ball speeds sure and true and knocks the chair out of Darth's hands. Caitlin sits on empty air. The only one who notices the antics of Julie is Ron, who is growing suspicious. Jude and Wayne are watching the tapes in the video store. Wyatt and Jonesy enter and are shocked, but Wayne tells them that there's a kid in the video who is pulling off the best pranks ever. They then sit down and begin to watch his excellent works of prankery. Jen enters, looking torn up, and asks Jude if she can check her email. They ask her what happened, and she reveals that a bunch of things have gone wrong for her. She then finds out that she is not the team captain after all–Cathy White is. At that moment, the kid on the screen pulls off another great prank, and Jonesy cheers, inadvertently setting off another series of unfortunate events for Jen. Wyatt and Wayne then offer her some email addresses to which she can forward the bad-luck email. Jen gladly accepts. Caitlin is talking on the phone with Wyatt, trying to find a way to get rid of Darth, as the nerd keeps messing up. Meanwhile, Julie and Stanley are hiding behind a newspaper at the fountain. Julie tells Stanley that they're going to do things her way this time, and then proceeds to trip Caitlin. Caitlin stumbles forward and falls into the fountain. Never one to waste an opportunity, she calls to Darth to help her. Darth makes the excuse of an ear infection, and Caitlin angrily storms out of the fountain, calling him the worst Jedi ever. Julie and Stanley snigger. Ron, watching on his monitor, grins, knowing that he's got a perp to snag. Caitlin and Darth go back to the lemon stand. Jen comes by. Caitlin asks what happened, and Jen tells all. Caitlin then proceeds to comfort her friend. Julie watches this from afar, taking note of her boyfriend's continuous patrolling. She can't figure out why Darth is still with Caitlin. Stanley, packing his blaster with taco meat, suggests that since she can't beat em, join em. Julie realizes that she can be a damsel in distress. Meanwhile, Caitlin picks up a call from Jonesy. Caitlin explains her woes, and Jonesy points out that Darth would not have been killed; the worst that would have happened was that he'd be maimed. All Darth has to do in that case is help her out. They then hang up, and Nikki arrives at the video store. Nikki tells him he missed work. Jonesy protests he didn't, as his shift starts at one; at this, Nikki notes that it is 4:30. Jonesy acknowledges he's been fired. Caitlin is explaining what would have happened to Darth. When he says that he still owes her a debt, she suggests that he knit her some socks, reply to her emails, scrub down the lemon, and organize her makeup. Darth gets to work on it. Shortly thereafter, he has gone above and beyond the call of duty, even creating Caitlin a MyFace page. He demonstrates it to Caitlin as Julie tries to get his attention. Darth doesn't hear her, which prompts the nerdy girl to throw herself down a flight of stairs. Darth still doesn't notice, and Caitlin hugs him. Julie sees this, and declares war. The guys are in the video store, still laughing at the antics of the boy in the video. Suddenly, the boy gets busted. The guys watch as the camera moves to mall jail, where the boy's father posts bail. When the father turns around, we can see his face: it looks like Ron. Jonesy notices and freaks out. Wyatt then points out that it can't be Ron, as the tapes are at least 30 years old. Jonesy then realizes that the boy, the prankster, is the current rent-a-cop in the flesh. He then freaks out, worrying that since they're so much alike he could become Ron. Jen then arrives, with Wayne's new mailing list, and gets ready for no more bad luck. Later, the gang are by the squeeze, which is surrounded by bunches of hot guys. Jen asks what's going on, but is cut off by Jonesy, who is down-in-the-mouth about the possibility of his becoming a buzzkill in the future. Nikki then tells them that Caitlin got a MyFace page and she must have gotten a lot of hits. Caitlin then grabs Darth and hugs him, thanking him for saving her love life. Darth declares that his debt is paid. At that moment, a vengeful Julie steps in. She calls out Caitlin, and begins to shoot hot sauce at her. The crowd scatters. Caitlin calls on Darth to protect her, but Darth says he can't, as he's allergic to hot sauce. He then runs away. As soon as he leaves, Caitlin notes that Darth really is the worst Jedi ever, and stands up. She begins to shoot lemon juice at Julie, and they fight. Julie chases Caitlin up the escalator, and Nikki, Jonesy, and Wyatt gather at the base to watch. Ron then drives up and tells Julie to surrender. In response, she fires a salvo at Ron, who goes down. Jonesy observes this, dismayed that he could be Ron in another 30 years. The two girls continue to fight at the top of the stairs. Darth rushes in then to try and break it up. The girls fire simultaneously, and hot sauce hits Darth's right eye, lemon juice his left. Blinded, he staggers around and runs into the railing. Julie grabs him and pulls him back. Darth thanks her, and states that he is now in her debt, and will stay with her until he has reciprocated. They then walk off together. At the bottom of the stairs, Ron slowly gets up and climbs into his cart. He coughs out that it isn't over, and drives off. Seeing this, Jonesy continues to worry. Nikki, fed up, tells him that he was already a rent-a-cop: he sucked, and got fired. This comforts Jonesy, and he thanks Nikki. They then go to the top of the stairs, where Jonesy asks if Caitlin's alright. Caitlin says she is, but Jen then notes that she isn't; the people she forwarded the email to have her address, and she received 23 more bad-luck emails. Caitlin then notes that she would like to have her MyFace page updated, and calls to Darth, only to realize that Darth has moved on. In Underground Video, Jude finds another tape. He calls his friends over and pops it in. Snow fizzles on the TV. Meanwhile, in Ron's office, the radio turns a song on. He drowsily awakens, and hears it. He then gets up and performs a complex dance routine to it. This climaxes when he jumps off the second floor and flies over the mall. He floats in front of the jumbo screen for a few seconds before flying back down to in front of the camera, where he puts on his usual steely-eyed gaze as the song ends. Ron then walks back in to his office, sits down, and begins sleeping once more. The image then resolves into static. The guys watching in the video store can only stare, slack-jawed and amazed at the dancing prowess Ron just displayed. Quotes *'Jen:' "Poor Darth. I can't believe what a jerk that guy was!" Caitlin: "I know! Some people think they can get away with murder. I mean, please. It's either cold enough for socks or warm enough for sandals. Never both." (Jen gives Caitlin a disgusted look.) *'Darth:' "Caitlin, I am here to inform you that, as you saved me from certain death, I am now your humble servant." Caitlin: "Ah, it was no biggie." Darth: "Oh, but it was. And as a valued Jedi knight, I am now at your service." *'Caitlin;' “Darth, you cannot come into the washroom with me.” Darth: “But seventy percent of accidents in home occur in the-” Caitlin: “Stay!” (slams door) Darth: “Be careful in there!” *'Darth:' “Ahem, the sign on the door says women.” Jude: “You can't believe everything you read, little dude.” *'Caitlin': "Worst Jedi ever!" *'Nikki:' “Hey, wasn't today your first day at Boots and Bags?” Wayne: “You got a job at Boots and Bags?” (laughs) Jonesy: “First shift doesn't start till one.” Nikki: “Yeah, it's four thirty.” Jonesy: “What? Aw man! I am so fired!” *'Jonesy:' “Clever and devious. Finally, a role model I can aspire to.” Wyatt: “Uh oh. Looks like the rent-a-cop's gonna get him." Jude: “Run, dude!” Wayne: “Busted!” Jude: “Who's the new dude?” Jonesy: “AAH! Did you see that? That was-was Ron the rent-a-cop!" Wyatt: “It can't be. Those tapes are, like, thirty years old. That would make Ron, like, eighty. It must be Ron's dad.” Jonesy: “But that would make that kid my- my hero. Ron the rent-a-cop?” Jen: “Here's your new mailing list. Finally scored my hundred email addresses.” Jonesy: “But I'm just like him. I'm a total prankster. What if I end up like the rent-a-cop?!” Nikki: “What's with him?” Jen: “I'm saved!” Jonesy: “I'm doomed.” *'Nikki:' “Oh, brother! You're not gonna turn into the rent-a-cop, okay? You already tried that, remember? You sucked and were heinously fired.” Jonesy: “Thanks, Nikki. You always know just what to say.” Wyatt: “You better now, girls?" Caitlin: “Much.” Jen: “Not so much. All those people I forwarded that email to have my address, and I got twenty-three new forwards!” Jude: “Better get that clipboard.” *'Nikki:' “Are you guys still watching those tapes? Ugh! Give it up, already!” Trivia *The episode title is a reference to the candy called "Life Savers". **Alternatively, it could be a paraphrasing of the signature Star Wars weapon, the lightsaber. **Another alternative could be a reference to actual lifesavers (the flotation devices). *The dance sequence Ron the Rent-a-Cop does is similar to Fatboy Slim's music video, "Weapon of Choice". Gallery Darth and Caitlin.png|Darth protecting Caitlin Caitlin saves Darth.png|Caitlin flirting with the bully Julie and Stanley.jpg|Julie and Stanley in disguise Video FU5aqYQyeQ8 Category:Episodes Category:Season 3 Category:Season Finales